Enough Is Enough (No More Tears)

Grey: I have an aunt who, whenever she poured anything for you, would say: “say when”. My aunt would say, “Say when,” and of course, we never did. We don’t say “when” because there’s something about the possibility of more. More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better.

There’s something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say “when.” I think it’s a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It’s entirely up to the individual… and depends on what’s being poured. Sometimes, all we want is a taste. Other times, there’s no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless. And all we want… is more.

Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head

Grey: To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close. But sometimes, you’re faced with a cut that won’t heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open…

They say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. The better you get at remaining neutral, clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off… to stop thinking like a surgeon. And remember what it means to think like a human being.

Who's Zoomin' Who?

Grey: Secrets can’t hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing the lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital… well, that’s a little different.One thing is certain. Whatever it is we’re trying to hide, we’re never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked.That’s the problem with secrets. Like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until they take over everything. Until you don’t have room for anything else. Until you’re so full of secrets, you feel like you’re going to burst.

The thing people forget, is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they’re out in the open, like it, or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don’t have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is, even when you think you’re in control… you’re not.

Save Me

Grey: You know how when you were a little kid, and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be. White dress, Prince Charming, who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in bed at night and close your eyes, and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close, you could taste them. But eventually, you grow up. One day you open your eyes, and the fairy tale disappears. Most people, turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is… it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely. Because almost everyone still has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they’ll open their eyes, and it will all come true.

At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don’t really expect it. It’s like, one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle… well, it may not be a castle. And, it’s not so important that it’s happy ever after. Just that it’s happy right now. See, once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you. And once in a while… people may even take your breath away.

The Self-Destruct Button

Grey: Okay, anyone who says you can sleep when you die, tell them to come talk to me after a few months as an intern. Of course, it’s not just the job that keeps us up all night. I mean, if life’s so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What’s up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?

Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we’re wired that way. Because without it, I don’t know… maybe we just wouldn’t feel real. What’s that saying? “Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?” “Because it feels so good when I stop.”

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Grey: A couple hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. “Never leave that ’till tomorrow,” he said, “which you can do today.” This is the man who discovered electricity. You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection… Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision. Because, what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we’re afraid of, one thing holds true… that, by the time the pain of not doing a thing, gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we’re carrying around a giant tumor.

The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend we haven’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still, sometimes, we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug, until we can’t anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves, what Benjamin Franklin meant: That knowing, is better than wondering. That waking, is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake, beats the hell out of never trying.

Shake Your Groove Thing

Grey: Remember when you were a kid, and your biggest worry was, like, if you’d get a bike for your birthday, or if you’d get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean, seriously, don’t be fooled by all the hot shoes, and the great sex, and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you’re training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands… Hello! Talk about responsibility! Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really really good, doesn’t it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up, and let it slip right through your fingers…

Responsibility… it really does suck. Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn’t go away. It can’t be avoided. Either someone makes us face it, or we suffer the consequences. And still, adulthood has its perks. I mean, the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do… that’s pretty damn good.